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Discussion in 'THE AIGBURTH ARMS' started by jmc2000, Oct 15, 2017.
A few people have. You've even mentioned it yourself.
Through process of elimination......anyone who responds to you can't possibly have you ignored.
My suspicions are as follows:
That Paul bloke.
Constant negativity etc...
Goodness, he's really gotten under your skin!
Yes. He’s a coward and a hypocrite!
Too gutless to say out loud to me what he thinks. Does he think because he blocks me I can’t see him?! Very weak individual!
Based on your rant @squeal mold , you should be furious at this “paul” character.
Welp.....I guess if there is one thing you learn in threads like this, it's just just who gets people's feckles up. Though it always is going to seem weird for me to read as my name also happens to be "Paul".....oh well. I kinda can't help but wonder if a tread like this is conducive to the moral of the forum, or it'll just make people overly paranoid over what people might think about them.
It isn't just those two either. I think (hope?) we're on good terms with BigOleDummy and others. Bluey - someone we actually had an argument with once - is well-liked. I've always enjoyed picking the nits with posters like Deep Space, etc., etc..
But I do think we have a "branding problem", which is why I started this thread. @Pumpkinikki's first contribution to the weekend bust-up was this very minor dig; the other party immediately (and unfairly) called her a bully. He also said he'd been privately warned about her "bullying" and repeated the accusation many times.
At the time I ended up getting angry. Partly because the other person didn't leave enough time after apologising for me to digest or discuss, before repeating his accusation. And partly because bystanders seemed to instinctively agree with him when they came to the thread cold. On reflection... I think there's something deeper going on here. I think the bad reputation has grown from a) swing voters witnessing altercations "in flight", and not knowing that people are being mocked because they've genuinely upset someone - rather than for cruel sport - and b) the fact that we have had frivolous accusations of bullying, and each enables and fuels the next (a prime example being Nikki getting both barrels from the word "go", from someone who'd been briefed via PM that she was a "bully"). I'm actually weirdly grateful to @squeal mold for setting it out in plain English, because his comments tally with my perception of how people see us. And we're now at a point where, if we fall out with anyone - even if they start it - their optimal strategy is to exploit the bad press, and paint us as a clique of bullies.
I genuinely don't want people to see us that way. So, if anyone (at all) wants to come and have a civil conversation about their beef, I'm happy to respond in the same way.
This thread seems very disjointed to me, so I assume Ant E is making a response. I'd just like to say to you, Ant E, that you have consciously adopted an acerbic, sometimes belligerent posting style, and you're free to make that choice, of course. If it's a surprise to you that another poster chooses to put you on ignore, it shouldn't be. And I doubt that it really is. In fact, I suspect you've chosen your forum persona to elicit such responses. For my part, I certainly bear you no ill will, and I simply feel my forum experience would be better if I skipped your posts, something the forum software allows.
Otherwise, some of the posters here I've liked and respected for many years (JMC2000, Bluey and Cloud all spring immediately to mind), and many whom I don't recall from my previous times on this forum I've quickly developed a liking for in the little time I've been back (BigOleDummy and Kittypaws enter my mind, but there are others I can't think of at the moment). Rd.co.uk has always attracted relatively mature, fun and intelligent members, and I'm pleased to see it continues to do so.
I echo RIPs thoughts, I hope my buds and I are generally seen as agreeable. I know big Ants is basically chairman of the Pembers Fan Club, I have found a new soul mate in @AJ Smegface and I like reading stuff from @Slainmonkey @Cruel Slayer @Curryman @Kittypaws @Deep_Space_in_the_15th_Century @FeeBee and as RIP mentioned I too like @BigOleMummy a lot. We all like @kry102001 as well hence why we keep trying to get him to post more.
I'm sure there are others too. I've put myself up for interview if you want to ask anything and as @Pumpkinikki said we're always happy to welcome more people to chat.
To be fair, I think the altercation to which you elude was being quite expertly orchestrated by the other party, with the intention of making you guys seem the bullies. I was fooled when I first entered the discussion, and it was only on looking back up the thread and piecing together the evidence that I saw what was going on. I apologise for that, but as people like him go, he was pretty skilled. I almost PMed you an apology. I was drawn in to taking things at face value with no knowledge of any current 'cliques' that may or may not exist on in the forum's current incarnation.
Tbh I think there's been...well unless @Jarvio simply made it up (that's not an accusation), I KNOW there's been some stirring going on behind the scenes. If people are pming others to accuse us of bullying instead of coming and telling us either here or in pm's then 1. They're utterly spineless and 2. They're just stirring for their own agenda.
I can guess who is behind this and would ask anyone who has received such pm's to look at the join date and post count of the person pming them. We've got a problem with sock puppets, just saying.
Yeah I think we were played there, we were a bit naive perhaps, allowing ourselves to be baited.
There really is only one way to deal with such people, and it's not to express your anger, or trying to make them vanish in a puff of smoke by calling them out for what they are. They feed on attention, and being completely ignored is their only weakness. They rely on the fact that an entire forum of people are not, as one, going to stop responding to them. Incidentally, I have him on ignore too (just remembered). Reasons would be superfluous.
I'd rather not get in the middle of this, no offence....I really don't like to pick sides on this. I might not be the kind of person to ignore a person I've never spoken to before, but I guess I also don't feel right saying he can't feel the way he does. I think it's better if I stay neutral on this because I think getting involved could only make matters worse for everyone!
Beware of tex, Calver and TAYLOR!!!!
Error error error
Paul's a good egg - I look forward to your inevitable rapprochement
I fail to see this. He is stirring in a cowardly way!
Just want to make clear, whether folks believe me or not, I did indeed receive a PM (a rather long one). And they mentioned that "this small group" have bullied many members in the past. No names were mentioned. Just, "this small group". Abe asked me in a PM if I had contact with someone called Davidjames or something like that. This David guy, was not the person who PMed me. It was someone else. And they started the pm by saying they were going to post it in the thread, but didn't want to make things worse. Now I could tell you who it was, but I find that unfair plus I really don't want to stir anything up, especially since this argument was supposed to be over.
I also want to make clear, whether folks believe me or not, that I wasn't trying to manipulate anyone. I was honestly, genuinely saying how I felt. I don't know how I could have made it clearer - I did something bad, then apologised for it, but then after a few apologies, I felt I was being bullied, or baited, or tormented, whatever word you like. My point was, I apologised, and didn't mention bullying until a bit later down the line. I wasn't trying to manipulate or trick anyone, and no did I want the attention. I wanted it to end. Hence me deleting some of my posts and requesting others did the same because the thread went down the toilet. All my posts were still visible to all in the form of quotes too, so I wasn't trying to hide any evidence. I already admitted what I said was wrong, a long long time ago. So why would I 'hide' evidence when I had already admitted to saying things that were wrong?
RIP says some people thought his side were the villains. Well that's not the only side that were painted as villains - I was being painted as a villain too, hence my frustration, and now it seems people DO think I'm the villain, which is quite upsetting to me considering I did everything I could in that thread to clear my name. My weakness was I got too angry all the time, because I do get angry, because things get to me a lot. I really, really, truly hope it's just a massive misunderstanding between both parties, because I actually hate conflict. I really do. And those initial comments that started it all, I am obviously very sorry for. I was not in a good mood at the time, that doesn't excuse what I said though.
So Cruel Slayer, I wasn't trying to do anything, or trick anyone. I was saying what I thought was right, albeit too angrily.
Currently leaving the forum for an unspecified amount of time.
Plough on Mr Taylor.