So what is it?

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by Gluben, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. sanja

    sanja Supply Officer

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    6!!!! That's not enough for a glass of watter!!!
     
  2. Stephen

    Stephen Guest

    Tell me again. How do you "Hang Ten"?
     
  3. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    I'll tell you something. Something I've never told anyone. When I was fifteen, I went to Macedonia on a school trip, to the site of Alexander The Great's palace. And for the first time in my whole life, I felt ... I felt I was home. This place was where I belonged. Years later, I got friendly with a hypnotherapist -- Donald -- and told him about the Alexander the Great thing, and he said that he'd regress me back through my past lives. I was dubious, but I let him put me under. It turned out my instincts were absolutely correct -- I had lived a past life in Macedonia. That palace was my home. Because, believe it or not, Lister, he told me that, in a past incarnation, I was Alexander the Great's chief eunuch.
     
  4. sanja

    sanja Supply Officer

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    What is it? Are you redy? Balls on stand by sir
     
  5. Julia

    Julia Catering Officer

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    Lister to Red Dwarf. We have in our midst a complete smeg pot.
    Brains in the anal region. Chin absent presumed missing. Genitalia
    small and inoffensive. Of no value or interest.
     
  6. sanja

    sanja Supply Officer

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    He will have teath problems caused by fist
     
  7. kezzzs

    kezzzs Third Technician

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    What is this place?:?:
     
  8. Stephen

    Stephen Guest

    We're interlopers inside Mr Rimmer's mind.
     
  9. Daniel

    Daniel Console Officer

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    Isn't it obvious? The solution is staring you in your stupid, fat, ferrety face.

    We have tentacle of dimension-migrating leviathan. We take, insert into a gene-reader- you have serveral in Medi-Lab -and triangulate results with power surge readings and temporal displacement residues recorded in water tank. We then calculate quantum algorithm creature produced to open dimensional membrane then we travel multi-verse. Once computed we have key to dimensional travel, transpose calibrations into mining laser and bingo-jingo we have our very own dimension cutter.
     
  10. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    Well, you're quite the worst bunch of famous historical wax droids I've ever had the misfortune to clap my eyes on! You're a total bloody shambles, and if we're going to win this war,someone is gonna have to turn you into soldiers, and that someone, ladies and gentlemen, is ME. Over to you, Kryten.
     
  11. Daniel

    Daniel Console Officer

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    I'm watching you Ghandi
     
  12. Tex_Rimmer

    Tex_Rimmer First Technician

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    Reach for the sky, boys! Let's see them understains!
     
  13. RedMidget

    RedMidget First Technician

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    In a smegging Garbage pod!
    Sir, often iN high stress situations the mind plays tricks on you so its imperetive that we ITS THE WALL!
     
  14. Stephen

    Stephen Guest

    Where's the cat?
     
  15. J_Spaced

    J_Spaced Second Technician

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    It's taken all my grace, all my style. All my elan... what's it turned me into?
     
  16. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    I'm here.
     
  17. Julia

    Julia Catering Officer

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    so what is it?
     
  18. Stephen

    Stephen Guest

    Theee light switch.
     
  19. Baxters_Hooch

    Baxters_Hooch Supply Officer

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    Actually sir, we don't ever have existed here any more. But this is hardly the time to be conjugating verbs in the past impossible non-never tense.
     
  20. Weevil

    Weevil Deck Sergeant

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    That's the metaphorical equivalent of flopping your wedding tackle into a lion's mouth and flicking his love spuds with a wet towel. Total insanity.
     

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