lines that still make you hurt with laughter?

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by emmawatson, Oct 26, 2016.

  1. emmawatson

    emmawatson Second Technician

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    One example for me:

    "On the other hand, Mr. Bullet, the Cybernautic Division could be in charge of *traffic control*, and you just happen to have a rather silly macho name!"
     
  2. Pembers

    Pembers Console Officer

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    No chance you metal bastard.
     
  3. jimmydischarge

    jimmydischarge Third Technician

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    Twelve minutes! And that includes the time it took to eat the pizza.
     
  4. jimmydischarge

    jimmydischarge Third Technician

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    That, and "Dream on metal trash!"
     
  5. Goit_84

    Goit_84 First Technician

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    "And as for the Cat what an unbelievable GIT" - Rimmer during his morale meeting in Out of Time
     
  6. KingR76

    KingR76 Deck Sergeant

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    Sim: (Funny head movement) Hello? Lethal, psychopathic droid in the room.

    Its one of THE best lines for me, both the delivery AND the dialogue :-)
     
  7. bedfordfalls

    bedfordfalls Deck Sergeant

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    "That was an important point, Sir, and it needed to be made, might I suggest, however, that the rest of this discourse is continued by those with brains larger than a grape?"
     
  8. Underdunn

    Underdunn Deck Sergeant

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    Hurt with laughter? ...well I wouldn't go that far. But the Lister/Rimmer exchange in justice over shooting the Rouge-Sim always gets a big wide smile off me if that counts?

    "What...? In the back?"
    "Of course in the back! It's only a pity he's awake."
    "You mean you'd happily kill him in his sleep?"
    "Lister I'd happily kill him if he was on the job."

    :-)
     
  9. jimmydischarge

    jimmydischarge Third Technician

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    And Kryten, you are indeed a ‘hcachum babow’, or smart-alec metal git.
     
  10. Kittypaws

    Kittypaws Flight Co-Ordinator

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    This one does it every time:

    Rimmer: "Well, I can't say I'm totally shocked. You'd bonk anything, won't you, Lister?!"

    :lol:
     
  11. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

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    There's a line from Can of Worms which I don't think I'm allowed to quote here yet given spoiler policy, but I also think that I'll never not enjoy Rimmer's salute from Back in the Red.
     
  12. Simonr1978

    Simonr1978 Console Officer

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    These days, no, but then I've watched and rewatched the episodes so many times over the years. Ones that still raise at least a smile though are "Now I know why dogs lick their testicles" (Although the follow up line is completely unnecessary IMO), "We just hosed him down and gave him a hat" and "But you were an utter tw*t". Not a line, but along the same lines, the bit where the science officer hologram in Back to Earth gets run over.
     
  13. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    Rewatching the whole series relatively recently, I was surprised to find that I still laughed at many lines, most of them - if not all - in episodes from the first six seasons. They didn't make me hurt with laughter, but they certainly made me laugh out loud. I remember writing about this when I was reviewing the episodes in the 'Last RD ep. you watched recently' thread. It's a testament to the great writing in those first six seasons that certain lines can still have this effect on me even though I must have heard them all dozens of times before.

    I don't know if it made me laugh last time I watched it, but I like this Rimmer speech from Quarantine:

    "And fulfilling all Space Corps dietary requirements, dinner tonight, gentlemen, will consist of sprout soup, followed by sprout salad, and for desert - I think you'll like it, rather unusual - sprout crumble."
     
  14. RainbowGazelle

    RainbowGazelle Second Technician

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    Rimmer's simple line in Timeslides always makes me laugh:

    "It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard."


    or, from Gunmen of the Apocalypse:

    Lister: "The escape pod is not an option."
    Rimmer: "Why not?"
    Lister: "It escaped last Thursday."
     
  15. OurJud

    OurJud Deck Sergeant

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    Very few things make me hurt with laughter these days (in fact I can't even remember the last time it happened), but there are still lines that make me laugh out loud rather than just smile.

    Off the top of my head:

    Rimmer: "Ah, yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly: 'No chance, you metal bastard.'"

    Lister: "Drop dead, Rimmer!"
    Rimmer: "I already am dead."
    Lister: "Encore!"

    Rimmer: "I threw a two and a one seven times in a row. What are the odds of that?"
    Kryten: "Sixty-two million to one, sir - about the same odds as being killed by a tangerine."
     
  16. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Guest

    Rimmer : "But at least I have the common decently to do it sneakily behind your back" about reading Listers diary.

    Kryton : " Are you a Doctor" when told the Nova 5 crew members are dead.
     
  17. OurJud

    OurJud Deck Sergeant

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    "A keyring with a C on it! Unbelievable! Thank you with a capital R!"
     
  18. Pembers

    Pembers Console Officer

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    Is he Swedish?
     
  19. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Guest

    While not a line specifically ........... the look on Cats face as he jumps/rises from behind the bush at the end of Backwards!
     
  20. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

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    Alright, I'll say it now. The screwdriver line from Can of Worms.
     

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