Disturbing facts about Stu's hero Ken Dodd

Discussion in 'THE AIGBURTH ARMS' started by Cloud, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. Cloud

    Cloud Console Officer

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    "Recently revealed FBI documents have discovered that Ken Dodd was the second gunman assassinating president JFK. No action has yet been brought to him"

    "Ken Dodd once sacrificed a goat to the dark lord satan. He credits this for his long career"

    "When questioned if he had anything to do with the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa in the 70's Ken started fidgeting nervously"

    "Ken has a lifetime ban from every Tesco store in the UK. when asked why he muttered something about Dog food but wouldn't answer the question"

    "Ken Dodd writes threatening letters to Stan Lee daily as he believes he is the inspiration for 'the thing' from the fantastic four"

    Anyone else know any?
     
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  2. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    "In a series of tests it emerged that the Titanic was actually sunk with a right hook from Mr. Dodd. Until then the almighty power of his fist hadn't been officially confirmed."

    "In recent years, Dodd has been photographed by both Hello and Sod Off magazines trespassing in the homes of the rich and famous."

    "Ken started entertaining at the local orphanage, then at various other local community functions, all of which he burned down afterwards."

    "Dodd has appeared on many Royal Variety Performances. The most recent was in 2016, where he pulled down his trousers in front of Prince Charles and his wife Camilla, at the London Coliseum".

    "In October 1987, Dodd officially opened the Arndale shopping centre in Accrington. He then paid Jeremy Beadle £250 to knock it down with a bulldozer."

    "Dodd is noted as having a Dickensian workhouse attitude towards his workforce and an unwavering hatred to the city of Birmingham."

    "Dodd got his big break at age 26 when, in September 1954, he made his professional show-business debut at the now-demolished (by Dodd) Nottingham Empire. A nervous young man, he sat in a local crack den for most of the afternoon, going over and over his lines before going to the theatre, where he punched an elderly lady in the face, knocking her unconscious. He later said, "Well at least they didn't boo me off"."
     
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  3. Cloud

    Cloud Console Officer

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    "Ken Dodd was scheduled to tour the world trade center on September 11th 2001 but the day before adamantly refused to go, leading some to suspect he had some insider knowledge"

    "Dodd has been banned from every McDonalds restaurant world wide. While the exact reasons are unknown there is rumors about damage done to a Ronald McDonald statue"

    "Ken Dodd was reported to be born in 1927 although there is substantial evidence that he was responsible for the sinking of the titanic"

    "Dodd is known to have killed at least 12 nuns using only a toblerone"

    "Many photos of Dodds involvement in world war 2 have surfaced in recent years. Photoshop has been used to remove the SS uniform"

    "Dodd claims that every Tuesday is "no trouser Tuesday" this unfortunately coincides with his weekly charity comedy show at the nursing home"

    "A black light was once used on Dodds famous 'tickle sticks' the results were distrubing. Dodd grinned the whole time"
     
  4. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I will share a fact I recently learnt about Ken Dodd....

    Apparently he is MEANT to be a comedian....!
     
  5. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    Never heard of him.
     
  6. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Lucky you
     
  7. Abe

    Abe Deck Sergeant

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    "Ken Dodd is the reason why Abe is late this morning :sulk:"
     
  8. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    He's a comedian who's as funny as root canal surgery.
     
  9. BigOleDummy

    BigOleDummy Deck Sergeant

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    Well, based on those recommendations I think I'll pass on a youtube search then. I mean.......if YOU TWO can agree on something ....
     
  10. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Ken dodd is awesome. There's a programn, celebrating his 90th birthday this Sunday, I will be watching
     
  11. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    happy birthday doddy for the weekend, and long may you reign
     
  12. Ant E

    Ant E Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Reign as a tax dodger?
     
  13. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    yup, and as a teriffic comedian
     
  14. Nikki the Great

    Nikki the Great Console Officer

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    "On his 90th birthday, Ken Dodd plans to sacrifice 90 virgins and an entire field of cows" - this is what you're supporting Neil :sulk:
     
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  15. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    Living in Liverpool, I'm surprised he could find 90 virgins
     
  16. Cloud

    Cloud Console Officer

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    Why am I not surprised that Neil is a fan of this degenerate :sulk:
     
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  17. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I dunno, he's massively popular still even at 90, it's funny, I never thought of doddy as a degenerate?
     
  18. Cloud

    Cloud Console Officer

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    Did you not read all the 100% true facts me and nikz posted :sulk:
     
  19. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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  20. neilold

    neilold Flight Co-Ordinator

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    I've now read them, he's still great, if not more so
     

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