Best 1-liners!

Discussion in 'RED DWARF UNIVERSE' started by AmandaKnox, Dec 29, 2011.

  1. AmandaKnox

    AmandaKnox Third Technician

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    "I say we go out there and twat it!"
    "I'm off to bed; by myself, on my own, ALONE"

    Here's hoping that series 10 issues some awesome one-liners too! 8)
     
  2. codename_47

    codename_47 First Technician

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    "It's just, I've had so much coffee I don't think I'll be able to get any mints until tomorrow"

    Underrated line imo.

    "I've come to tell you in 3 million years you'll be dead"
    "WILL I REALLLLY?" (Sarcasm is the highest form of wit)

    And the underrated light switch gag which doesn't get as much attention as its brother, the light bulb gag, but is just as funny in my opinion ;-)
     
  3. AmandaKnox

    AmandaKnox Third Technician

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    "I've flamingo'd up" - I actually use this one, lol
     
  4. MichaelJRimmer

    MichaelJRimmer Second Technician

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    "We're on a mining ship, three million years into deep space. . . can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?"

    I love this one
     
  5. ori-STUDFARM

    ori-STUDFARM Supply Officer

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    "Hey, monkey, you're sick. Sick, helpless, and unconscious. If you weren't my friend, I'd steal your shoes!"
     
  6. DeSmegster

    DeSmegster Third Technician

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    Any space corps directives are hilariously quoted by Rimmer and Kryten.
     
  7. DeSmegster

    DeSmegster Third Technician

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    May i change my entry , Uhm...

    "Lister is that a cigarette your smoking?"
    "No , its a chicken..."
     
  8. Seb

    Seb Captain Staff Member

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    I think if push came to shove, I'd name the light switch exchange as my favourite gag in the entirety of Red Dwarf.
     
  9. AmandaKnox

    AmandaKnox Third Technician

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    Hahaha! Can't believe I forgot that one! I actually used that line a couple of times when I was 16, lol
     
  10. AmandaKnox

    AmandaKnox Third Technician

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    Hahaha! Can't believe I forgot that one! I actually used that line a couple of times when I was 16, lol
     
  11. Paul Taylor

    Paul Taylor Console Officer

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    I would certainly place the light switch gag over the light bulb gag. Not so much because it's a comment on Rimmer's stupidity, but also because it's a comment on the stupidity of some approaches to art. Just so you know, if this engenders a drawn out discussion on modern art, I won't be joining in. I've said my piece.
     
  12. MichaelJRimmer

    MichaelJRimmer Second Technician

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    Rimmer? Better Dead than smeg!
    Cat? Better dead than sofa sized butt!
    Kryten? Better anything that that toupee!
     
  13. Mardroid

    Mardroid Console Officer

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    Heh. Was repeating that a joke or just an ironic mistake?
     
  14. KingR76

    KingR76 Deck Sergeant

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    They're both awesome ones.

    "Smeg off, dog food face!"
     
  15. gem5ie

    gem5ie Catering Officer

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    There was a Rimmer line in the episode of RDX I saw recorded, that made me HOWL :-)
     
  16. Bluey

    Bluey Science Officer

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    The best lines are the unpredictable ones that take you completely by surprise. And, just to show that even series 7 and 8 could make me laugh when the writing was good, I'd like to nominate Rimmer's "Oh, har har" from Ouroboros and Holly's 'short version' ("Bye") in Pete: Part 2 as two lines that made me laugh out loud by taking me by surprise.
     
  17. JennyDee

    JennyDee Third Technician

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    For me, nothing will ever top, "STOP YOUR FOUL WHINING, YOU FILTHY PIECE OF DISTENDED RECTUM!" Me2

    *ahem*

    Hi :-D
     
  18. thatlouise

    thatlouise Third Technician

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    ^ from that same episode I loved "SHUT UP YOU DEAD GIT!"
     
  19. AmandaKnox

    AmandaKnox Third Technician

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    Why yes, yes it was :-)

    Another awesome quote; "It's like looking for a fart in a jacuzzi" - Another one I've been guilty of using. You'll all be happy to hear I've become more original as I've grown up!:lol:
     
  20. mophead241

    mophead241 Catering Officer

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    "An excellent plan sir, with only two minor drawbacks"
    "You're going with one of my plans? What if it gets us killed, I'll never hear the end of it."
     

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